I lost my virginity when I was 14. And I haven't been able to find it.
-David Duchovny
When I was a freshman in high school I always imagined of the day that I'd lose my virginity. Being the typical teenager my dreams at the moment were less along the line of losing it to the person that I loved and more focused on banging some random girl I would meet at a party (no man can say that they haven't thought about it).
That was a constant thought it my head because I wondered why virginity was so special anyway. I mean, as far as I was concerned it was more of a state of mind rather than a physical attribute.
As a child we are always told that when you fall in love you'll know when the time comes for you to consummate that love but you are not told that it is better that your first time should be about making love rather than having sex. This in turn leads to uninformed youths looking forward to having sex rather than making love so you can imagine how charismatic one gets when the opportunity arrives.
By that time you are anxious and overjoyed. The only things that are running through your mind are "should I be gentle or should I go all out?" and "should I carry a condom with me?". And then it happens. You have sex, you are no longer a virgin, all the endless nights of masturbation have possibly come to an end. That's what you think.
When I lost my virginity it was terrifying. Was I good enough? Were twenty minutes long enough? What would she think about me afterwards? But do you know what the most important thing was, "I had lost my virginity". No longer would I walk and ask myself, "how many times has that guy had sex?". Those days were over.
However, another problem rose from the pits of my bowels. I didn't use a condom. What the fuck! As far as I was concerned I was carrying some sort of STD. Those fears were with me for three months before I had the nerve to get tested (lucky me cause the tests came back negative). And if that wasn't enough, I started to believe that she was pregnant. On top of that, I assumed that she was screwing someone else. I fucking hated her.
Why did I hate her? I hated her because of my own mistake; I had sex and didn't make love. The reason that I had sex with her and didn't make love to her was because I didn't love her. Simple enough. All those problems I thought were going down were just me being paranoid because I had lost it to a random person.
Virginity isn't dignity but a lack of opportunity.
I had found my opportunity but didn't take it as I was supposed to. The opportunity to look at sex in the eye and say, "I don't want you" but I failed. My opportunity was gone and I was no longer a virgin; something that I assumed I could do without when I possessed it but knew I needed when I had discarded of it.
What happened to me was something that no one should have to go through. Don't dream of having sex, dream of making love because if you are to have sex you'll wake up the next morning with a bad taste in you mouth that will never go away.
P.s. Virginity is yours to keep. If you'd rather live with it then the better for you (but that's a bit freak-like though).
-David Duchovny
When I was a freshman in high school I always imagined of the day that I'd lose my virginity. Being the typical teenager my dreams at the moment were less along the line of losing it to the person that I loved and more focused on banging some random girl I would meet at a party (no man can say that they haven't thought about it).
That was a constant thought it my head because I wondered why virginity was so special anyway. I mean, as far as I was concerned it was more of a state of mind rather than a physical attribute.
As a child we are always told that when you fall in love you'll know when the time comes for you to consummate that love but you are not told that it is better that your first time should be about making love rather than having sex. This in turn leads to uninformed youths looking forward to having sex rather than making love so you can imagine how charismatic one gets when the opportunity arrives.
When I lost my virginity it was terrifying. Was I good enough? Were twenty minutes long enough? What would she think about me afterwards? But do you know what the most important thing was, "I had lost my virginity". No longer would I walk and ask myself, "how many times has that guy had sex?". Those days were over.
However, another problem rose from the pits of my bowels. I didn't use a condom. What the fuck! As far as I was concerned I was carrying some sort of STD. Those fears were with me for three months before I had the nerve to get tested (lucky me cause the tests came back negative). And if that wasn't enough, I started to believe that she was pregnant. On top of that, I assumed that she was screwing someone else. I fucking hated her.
Why did I hate her? I hated her because of my own mistake; I had sex and didn't make love. The reason that I had sex with her and didn't make love to her was because I didn't love her. Simple enough. All those problems I thought were going down were just me being paranoid because I had lost it to a random person.
Virginity isn't dignity but a lack of opportunity.
I had found my opportunity but didn't take it as I was supposed to. The opportunity to look at sex in the eye and say, "I don't want you" but I failed. My opportunity was gone and I was no longer a virgin; something that I assumed I could do without when I possessed it but knew I needed when I had discarded of it.
What happened to me was something that no one should have to go through. Don't dream of having sex, dream of making love because if you are to have sex you'll wake up the next morning with a bad taste in you mouth that will never go away.
P.s. Virginity is yours to keep. If you'd rather live with it then the better for you (but that's a bit freak-like though).
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