Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
I intend to give a small description of myself. This is more of a psychological description and not a physical one.
I am immature, inconsiderate, pompous, inciteful, solitary and overally egotistical. I have endured pain and suffering that, for the most part, have been caused by none other than myself. All my success have come about not by hard work or determination but by serendipity e.g. since I enrolled in high school I have held the top position longer than anyone else in my year. As much as I'd like to give my intelligence all the rave, that would not be true. I am not necessarily the smartest person in any room that I walk into but for some reason my grades were always at the top of the list.
The sad part about stating all these things is that I can. I know that I have a problem yet I have done nothing towards dealing with the problem. It has been made clear that the first step towards fixing a problem is knowing that there is a problem. Yeah, that doesn't seem to be the case with me. As soon as I learn that I have a problem I learn to live with it rather than take action against it. Today, however, I have made a resolution (yeah, three weeks before new year's eve); I am going to change.
Change, as we have been told, is all about trying to make those that are imperfect perfect, accepting that you can get it from just about everything but a vending machine and telling the theoretical physicists that their theory of change being the only constant is a lot more than just a theory.
When I was a freshman in high school there was a senior that I looked up to. He was highly intelligent, diligent and respected. I always said to myself that I wanted to be like that guy. Now, four years later I'm not that guy. I am a version of myself that I want to do away with. But I have come to a decision. No longer do I want to be like that senior. I want to be the version of me that I can live with. I am a work in progress and I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to be the person that I can be.
P.s. Not all change is for the better and not all steps move forward.
It is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one's own personality. Good prose is like a windowpane.
-George Orwell
As a bored teenager who would rather spend his days enjoying the feuds within television dramas rather than go out and experience life first-hand I tend to dwell upon quite a series of strange questions. One of these many questions has wrecked havoc through my psychological being for years but not once have I been able to access an answer within the vast and rather messy library that is my brain; what sort of character would I be in a movie/television series? Huh! What a question right? I'm not going to take credit and assume that I'm the first person to have asked mysef such a question but I am going to say that I am one of the first to point it out (I've got an issue with my ego)
Well, it is safe for me to assume that most people would hope that they were heroes in a major script. Those who go in such of danger with an aim of eradicating it and of course they are those who hope to be the intelligent villain whose diverse intellectual abilities allow him to predict every step carried out by the other characters. The fact remains that no one wants to be the supporting character. We all want to have the larger-than-life personality that would let us be that guy in the movie that we all love or rather love to hate.
How do I become that guy?
That's a simple question that deserves a complex answer. It's all about personality (I guess it isn't as complex as I had presumed). Personality is what sets apart the men from the boys (well, not really but it does play a role), it's what separates the TV stars from the movie stars. Yeah, if you believe that you are larger-than-life then you just might end up being over 1258 Lbs.
