SAYING YES WHEN IT SHOULD BE NO

Sudden resolutions, like the sudden rise of mercury in a barometer, indicate little else than the variability of the weather.
-David Hare

Some situations arise at times of least expectation. A sunny day suddenly becoming rainy, an easy test with that one impossible question, and even that amazing phone that decides to go on the fritz. This is part of life and acting surprised by this means only one thing, you are part homo ignoramus. No shame in having ancestral ties to the leading cause of the near extinction of the human race.....
Now, I value my intelligence, I revel in it but then every now and again I become an involuntary volunteer to these events where my wits are tested.
Yesterday was one of those events. My girlfriend (I feel like she's been the topic of concern for most of my posts for the past week but just having the audacity to write "my girlfriend" feels so magnificent) came to school and she seemed rather upset. Being the concerned guy that I am I asked her what the problem was but she was a bit resilient on spilling the cup of hot coffee (well, at the time I had no idea it was hot coffee). I plagued her constantly with my monologue on how a good relationship is founded on communication, which I did ever so subtly, and she gave in.
What came from her were words that I would never forget. Little words but they carried a great impact, "I missed my periods." Yikes!!!
And then it smacked me like a bitch. All my teenage life I had been dreading the thought of such news. How would I handle such a situation? What would our lives amount to if I/she/we were expecting at this point of our lives?
But that was just the thing. These questions didn't race through my mind. Only one thought circumnavigated the diameter of my brain-what will he/she look like?
What the fuck?!! I know, right. Twisted.......
Anyway, is something wrong with me. How would someone in that position ever react like that? I'm barely an adult and the prospects of a child seem enticing.
It was a rather selfish thought because I needed to have been concerned for her sake. She was the one who experienced the fear at a physical level. All the hormones that might have been raging through her at that moment and I was simply exploring the physical traits of a hypothetical child.
But like she said, it was just a missed period which,  according to her is common, so we might have nothing to worry about.
I decided to be excited about this occurrence before my time had arrived and now I have to find a way to get my psychology in check before I ruin our lives. But how bad would it be to have a child with the woman I love? At the moment, it's probably the worst thing that could happen but I do look forward to a time when it would be expected of us........