Something dawned on me before I began jotting down this current read-it has been months since I last wrote anything. Wha is happening to me? I frightens me so. The synapses in my brain feel detached to that spark that had adorned me the gift. Maybe m father was right. "One day you'll stop writing," he said to me. Back then I would laugh at him. The talent got to my head or at least it infected my mind. I have learned that the mind should not heed what the brain possesses. The mind is the balance beam. Whatever battles that rage on within your head are controlled by the mind and if the mind partakes in duties to be handled by the brain we get a collision. I have experienced the colllision. The gift is draining away from me. No need to be frightened by this. It has happened in the past and I found a way to come through. However, something feels different. It's not just in my mind but in my speech pattern my cognitive abilities, my physical capabilities. Something is happening to my body and it has nothing to do with raging hormones. DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS!!!
Should I really fear the threat of encroaching demise? Is it a tumor, an aneurysm or nothing more than a migrane. Whatever it may be it has wreaked havoc in my psyche. I remember who I was three years ago. Do I miss him? To some level I do. He was analytical, impervious to impression and arrogant to the bone. However, he was also timid, lonely and arrogant to the bone. Something happened between July and September of 2009 for that was when the metamorphosis occured; my devolution. What am I turning into? It leaves me with no pride but anger and despair. World, help me come to a conclusion.
